Wednesday, October 19, 2011

My dad left for India tonight. Myself, and my mum (mummy) dropped him off at SFO around 8 to 9pm . We had to get some cash out the ATM by Holly st on San Carlos. At the terminal, at Singapore airlines check-in, one of the check-in was seriously 10lb over and the carry on was double the allowed capacity which is a whopping 7lb. So your baby......Anyways, yeah so we took a few minutes or what seemed longer in my frustration or mild laziness, in emptying out some of my dads enormous selection of khakis. Who knows why anyone would need that many. After that, we ran into Madhu's elder brother and family (Manoj); well just his wife, dad, and himself. Wife I think was on the same flight as my dad, or is. They are the same. I suppose, though aged; albeit his dad looks pretty well put together for 71 or so. Only swarna & anu's dad looks positively stunning for 85. You have to remember we are looking at the gauge of mental faculty. Not a clone of brad pitt, aged like wine. Life, is something different. If you listen to the radio, the tv, music, etc etc . people, work, you are always hearing things; some sound good, others not, some down right annoying. But, its all you listening thinking what a great receptacle you are . Absorbing the world. But, your absorption will stop, only so much can you digest, and more importantly where does it leave you with a feeling of satiety. There is a great inner deep silence. And in that silence, the wisdom of God speaks. There from your intuition developed through strenuous labor ; physically, challenging, and mentally taxing. This road is a lonely one, the loneliest you will ever travel. But it gives great freedom. A soul, cast into the net, at last , we are given once more the throttle, only to burn it out in our great haste. If you don't believe, when you age, and get nearer and nearer to death, and more vegetable-like- i.e. your range of motion weakens considerably as compared to your late teens, then you will accept a God. But then it will be too late. The power of physicality is needed. Your youth is your locomotive. Don't waste it children. My Mother's children. Not mine. I too, an infinitely small atom placed in some axis, Great Enchantress, absorb-er, redeemer of souls; now you can see why the Sages love God so intensely; compared with the pain and sorrow of this life, the fulfilling of some many desires, the loss of so many loves, the movement of work, and the journey of the day; beneath all action lies the great wheel of time, pushing forward.

So listen, listen to the deep inner silence. If you can't hear it. Well, maybe your not meant to. Maybe, you aren't trying hard enough. Enough maybe's. One has a beginning. Maybe in the middle. Maybe at the end.

As my dad left, this country for good; what came to my mind, as my mom teary-ed up; was all the memories of life together; we are old now, so we must chug on, work, responsibilities; our youth forever dispossessed. But in all things, there is a beautiful lesson. Worship goes on forever. So many distiilate emotions from those past episodes. All is gone, and forgiven . The great mother takes us on a play , and we go forward. When she calls us, she will make whirlwinds; all else will mean nil. Eyes can only see, the heart can feel, and breathe. But it is a long journey into the cavity of the soul. You might have to close your eyes.

Om Namah Shivaya


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