I've decided after this semester I am taking a leave of absence from USC. I really only need after this semester, probably two or three classes to raise my gpa to graduate, but I don't care. I just don't have anymore money to pay for it. I am applying to a TCM school here in SF. Hopefully it works out, otherwise I am just going to cooking school and taking a business loan and opening a restaraunt. Thats my plan. I just realized, I should never have come to USC and done pre-med, math, econ, or any of that . What a waste. I am really strapped now financially, and this semester alone I had to pay out of pocket, 20$k . Thats a huge amount for someone like me, without any support really besides a little cash every month here and there. And I am not even passionate about that shit. Man, my license is suspended, they just upped the cost of the fine because I forgot to go to court. After the summer, I am ironing out all the details. I may return to USC, maybe.. otherwise I just plan on attempting admissions at the local schools which don't require a bachelors.

Days I have felt as a traveling nomad, with no home, but empty cardboard spaces

[hah- someone already covered this on their blog]Amazon.com hides the 'queer content' apparently. A recently published book " Heather has two mommies" pretty much been sent to the purgatory section. I have to say that is absolutely ridiculous. Christian, Abhramic undertones. I mean actually homosexuality is condemned it seems everywhere. Even in India, it is still illegal. Its really a bunch of shit. Even that prop that got canceled in California, is because of minorities: Latin & Black. Apparently Black people, do not believe homosexuality is the same discrimination they have (based on their skin color) since, sexuality according to them is something you can choose. Yeah, well I could say a whole lot of nasty things about specifically these two minorities. But I won't. I do not have any racial preferences. I just find it ridiculous that gay and lesbian are looked at as abnormal. Yeah people might say they are okay with it, just not to sound bigoted. And these humans claim divine ancestry. Hah!.

& I am sure most do not know- that for gay couples (especially male couples) it is very hard for adoption. Apparently those groups believe every gay couple consort in pedophilia. How very unfortunate. No wonder the closest thing to god in the western world, are mere words like " God damn it!" or " Good Lord." That last comment was irrelevant. In India, homosexuality is looked at so low, that there is no health attention to the rapid spread of AIDS, and diseases. This is true amongst regular prostitution too. What a sad world we live in. At any excuse people are ready to aim , set, fire,..

When i closed the bathroom window, ..the fragrance of the kariappal plant , wafted through the explused wind. Curry Leaf- thats the english name I believe.

Nice to have some whole grain chapatis . My mom makes them with added flax seed, and all the healthy stuff. I plan to introduce it when I open a restaurant or boutique.
Nice to be here. The air is so crisp too. I can fall asleep really deeply, than elsewhere. Kind of miss that. I do not think after may, I will be returning to Los Angeles whether I finish my degree or not. I am hoping my acceptance into this Masters for TCM will work out so I will not have to return to the dust bowl. Hung out with ol' Mc Mac today. He seems the same or so, the heavy clouds of porfous smoke is hard to deal with , and the odor it stains all my stuff with. The plants inside my parents home are really green. Like a deep green. There are a few tulips outside, and the rose bush seems to be doing well. I planted some star jasmine sometime back, it has turned a paler green. Does not look so healthy. Strawberry plants I think have died. They can't take the cold nights. Forgot what else was out there in front. There were a lot of herbs inside and out. I think they had their days. We had so many plants at one time, like a nursery. Good stuff. It is really quiet at night. Kind of funny, when I think of the days I used to live on 29th street, down from the 29 Cafe. So much noise, either its someone playing an instrument or talking loud, or sorority sisters making beta calls or class. Either way, all of them were annoying , especially when you want to sleep and outside your window you can here adolescents in their mid to late post teens screaming out of their lungs. I always wondered how much excitement can they make believe to yell with such lung capacity? I will really not miss LA. It will just turn out to be a big blur like all the other events in life. Trying to stop smoking is difficult when everyone around you smokes.

Its weird. Sunday nights. Used to be different when I was like 19 or 20; we would hang out late , drive around, smoke, chill,laugh. Now everyone has work, moved, or got married it seems. I never knew that many people up here anyways. Except for the girls I guess. But I don't have a car nor a license so I don't hit any of them up here anymore. Too much of a hassle. And I couldn't care less. Sex is great, but after so much drug usage; like heavy smoking, you kind of put it on the side. I have at least. I mean I do, when I do- like all other animalistic creatures, but generally my mind is on other things lately, like how to take care of my finances , responsibilities; taking care of my house soon to be , and all the other things I have to do in my situation. I don't like to worry because I don't want anymore grey hairs. So , I ' m trying to do things right now. At least get a groove in. Was nice to be home, now to get back to perspective...

Its a little windy here, with the slight warmth protruding through the clear blue sky. I visited a friend. But no luck, we could not find a delivery service Rx. Sucks , his herbals are not really up to par. I would even venture out to say,his stuff is below Los Angeles Club stuff. Which hurts. Anyways, my ID is not accepted everywhere, actually San Francisco & Oakland have a stringent system, which resembles a little more legitimate licensing. Seems like a lot of the delivery clubs to the area of San Jose have shut down.

Heres a short list of those that are not available anymore:

Auto-med Rx :: They were operating out of Santa Cruz, or delivering to West Santa Clara

Purple Buddha:: I've ordered from this guy once prior, but don't think he's here anymore. Or they do not pick up the phone on weekends( maybe closed?)

Frosty Purple:: Think they closed.

Seventh Heaven: I think they operate Mon-Fri only

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I'll update this at a future date, but thats all I can think of for now. I should have smuggled a little hashish from LA, on the flight. Shame. Its the South Bay that really hurts for good flowers. The one dealer I know, sells questionable stuff mostly, and during seasons , he does get the occasional smashing one.

Could not link with a pal from San Rafael. Too far, and I have no car. Otherwise I would have made it.

Had some really good Tamil Nadu pickle or Telingir (Telugu) style. It was good. Not amazing, but good stuff. Had some peppercorns that tasted mighty yums. Had some off-hand indian sweets my pal had received from India (via someone else). Tried this donut shaped sweet, never had it before, but its filled with the same ingredients that reminds me of Appams. Which are small balls, like hush-puppies (but better ingredients) has a sweet, semi-cashewy brown sugar taste; really nice, I myself prefer more complex flavors for deserts, like European chocolate and patesserie.

Had instant Uppamav. Like cream of wheat or farina, ... Interesting, but I really do not believe in pre-packaged foods. Even though some friends- family friends, do use them. Not my style. Excessive sodium can be dangerous. Chilled by a pal today, man the smoke smell in his house makes me feel somewhat disgusted. It must be the toxicity from the amount of cigarettes he smokes, I was mentioning that even rolling tobacco is better than the boxed kind. Especially American. Yikes. Just recently, my brothers childhood lifelong friend's father passed away from cigarette smoking caused- cancer, at the age of 53 . It really makes the vibrations in a home damp. My parents home has a lot more light, cleaner feel. The ash from cigarettes is awful...And I smell like it completely.

On other notes.



Good Afternoon.

On Soul Eater Episode 51- Final episode. At first I did not like the series as much. The anime seemed more kiddish, and the story loose. But as it gathered, I got more into the series. I think this has just the right amount of that silly light joking mood- although I myself am not a huge fan of it- I like samurai style, one cut, good sequence, boom, fight, death. Final cuts. Get it? like when someone dies, thats it, its over. Well, in these types- like Soul Eater, the finality of fight sequences are not like that, no one really completely dies I think, kind of a shame for the idea of a tragedy in story. But still, I found Soul Eater, really interesting, and found myself getting excited toward the end- I especially liked the fight between Mifune and Blackstar. That was my favorite actually, more than Maka who is the central character along with Soul. I found the former fight to resemble the samurai style- epic fight sequences. Was good. Well, with this last one... the Kishin, and the story will be done. sigh. It' s always this feeling , no? At the end of a good series. I remember watching Six Feet Under. Five seasons, 30 episodes each. Man that was epic at the end. I don't know how many have watched that series, but I think I watched it last semester- When I really did not hang out with anyone, just exercise, school, shows. Was a good routine. Not so fun anymore. My mom could sense those vibrations, from like when I was living alone, and to now. But oh well, not for too long, and I'll be back here I guess. I like the quiet, and my own routine, just need to find activities to fill up the day besides smoking. Got to bring back my bike, lot of beautiful trails to ride on out here. One thing I really enjoy about here, the hills I can see in the background, and the clear sky.